Basically, you’re happy to agree to all of the below to read my shit. Thanks!
INFORMATION COLLECTION AND USE
If you use my Service, I may ask you to provide me with certain personally identifiable information that can be used to contact or identify you. Personally identifiable information (“Personal Information”) may include, but is not limited to:
I will NOT require your inside leg measurement, the name of your Auntie’s Cousin’s dog (twice removed), or details of that incident with a vacuum cleaner, a tube of industrial strength super glue, and a Womble. That information is sacrosanct.
Mmmm, cookies good, but I’m referring to the non-yummy digital kind. I use Plausible Analytics to track the usage of my website. This is done without collecting any personal data or personally identifiable information (PII), without using cookies, and while respecting the privacy of the website visitors. I do not track people across their devices or across websites and apps that they visit. All the data is isolated to a single day, website, and device only. There is no way to know whether the same person visits a site from more than one device or visits another website. You can read more about Plausible here.
The security of your Personal Information is as important to me as spray tan and hairspray are to Donald Trump, but remember that no method of transmission over the Internet, or method of electronic storage, is 100% secure. While I strive to use commercially acceptable means to protect your Personal Information, I cannot guarantee its absolute security.
LINKS TO OTHER SITES
I have no control over – and assume no responsibility for – the content, privacy policies, or practises of any third-party sites or services, so put a virtual condom on it and practice safe browsing, kids.
COMPLIANCE WITH LAWS
I will disclose your Personal Information where required to do so by law.
Cos…it’s the law? And I don’t want to end up in Wormwood Scrubs, sharing a cell with a man who thinks that the Chinese government is listening to our conversations via the water supply.
Last updated: 29th November 2023